The long and short of who I am is this: I am more straight than gay. More flamboyant than masculine. I actually am a sapiosexual, from the Latin root sapien, meaning wise. A sapiosexual is one who finds the contents of someone else’s mind to be their most attractive attribute, above and before their physical characteristics. Give me a deep conversation or a passionate debate over brainless beauty any day. Someone who makes me reconsider my long-held beliefs and challenges my mind is a person I love. (Which I have already in my terrific fiancé, editor, and official idea bouncer, Victoria.)
All that being said, I am not the manliest guy around. Wait. Hold up. What is the definition of manliness? This?
Ah, Galavant. Anyway, the Oxford Dictionary defines manliness as the traditional male quality of being brave and strong. Again, by that definition, I am not manly whatsoever. Show me a spider, and I turn into a princess. Dress, crown, and all. Then again, there are not a lot of manly men out there. (Two and A Half Men theme song anyone?)
To me, I hold the idea of manliness and share the same idea with others. Manliness is about respecting everyone, regardless of sexuality, creed, race, etc, etc. Manliness is about treating your spouse as you want to be treated. Be loyal to family, friends, and being true to your word.
We all, myself included love to categorize everything. Define the world. But everything is not so easily defined. Some words and acts need a living definition — a definition that changes over time. Need proof? Look at the word gay. It used to always be used to describe joy and happiness. Like, how do you feel? I feel gay. Say that nowadays and people think you are a homosexual. Gay has a living definition, it changes over time. The same should hold true to manliness.
I am not a sports person. I enjoy feminine type drinks. I am not strong. (Ask Victoria. She probably got a kick out of me attempting to carry in wood for our wood stove this winter.) I sit cross-legged. But you know what? I am loyal, respectful, and keep my word. (That business with taking out the trash, does not count.) I want to change people’s worlds. I want to become a billionaire, not in terms of money, but in terms of lives touched. In the end, would that not be a greater man than our current static definition of manliness?